


I'm Here

by Monster Merlin (ScribeAzari)



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Post-Undertale Pacifist Route, Self-Doubt, Self-Reflection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-15
Updated: 2019-01-15
Packaged: 2019-10-10 17:26:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17430314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScribeAzari/pseuds/Monster%20Merlin
Summary: Caught up in self-recrimination, Undyne struggles with herself, but she isn't alone.





	I'm Here

Sometimes, Undyne felt like such a fraud. Not all the time, or even most of it, but that somehow lent those moments more power. She couldn’t afford to let it show, though - there were people counting on her to be the tough boulder-suplexing strong fish that she was.

Asgore - her king, her mentor, so much like a father… But she wasn’t his child. Everyone knew what had happened to his children. Sometimes, she caught herself about to call him something she was sure would gnaw at his strained old soul, and she felt a wash of cold fill her at each realisation. She couldn’t let herself hurt him that way - she had seen far too many of his painful smiles already, and she couldn’t bear to think of what it could do to him if she was careless. His abiding gloom had led her to fear for his Hope for years now - he seemed a little better, but where was the line?

Papyrus - her trainee, her friend, so much like a brother. He wasn’t  _ her _ brother. Sometimes, she wondered whether Sans resented how much of his brother’s life she’d taken root in. She’d never heard Pap mention any other family or friends before the human dropped into their lives. Was each other all they had? She wouldn’t just budge over for a grouchy lazybones, if he ever  _ was _ grouchy, but she didn’t like feeling as though she was pulling them apart either. Good thing Papyrus was able to convince him to take sentry duty on board - sort of.

She also had the unnerving impression that he knew exactly why Papyrus had not been accepted as a Royal Guard. She honestly couldn’t tell whether he approved or disapproved of her keeping his brother’s dream from him, and that thought made the scales on her back prickle. Had she failed Papyrus? A mentor was supposed to guide their trainee, tell them how to improve, what they were doing wrong - she could never tell him that she didn’t believe he had it in him. It left a sour taste in her mind, and she felt like a traitor.

Frisk - her bestie, her kingdom’s rescuer, so much like another… They were just a child. They were so  _ small. _ Undyne couldn’t understand how they had even contemplated befriending her after she had tried to  _ murder their face off. _ Had they really forgiven her, just like that? Sometimes, she dreamed that they had been a hair too slow. It was different each time, and she never got further than reaching for their soul - but it felt so  _ real, _ and dream-her felt so  _ relieved _ and  _ triumphant _ \- she felt queasy after those dreams, especially if she saw the little punk soon after.

They were friends with that lizard kid who’d followed her around, too. The one who reminded her of another little punk trailing after a hero - an actual hero, who’d fought in the war, not some snotty brat who tried to beat up the king. How would  _ she _ have felt, if she’d made a friend of someone Gerson wanted to smash with his hammer? No wonder the squirt figured Papyrus was cooler now.

“U-undyne? Are you okay?”

Alphys - oh stars,  _ Alphys. _ She hadn’t even heard her come in. She had to keep it together. Alphys had a scintillating mind, a deliciously sharp wit, and a deep-rooted  _ passion _ that reached out to grab you by the soul and show you every little wonder that had caught her attention - but she was under  _ so much stress _ already. Could Undyne really allow herself to worry her more? She’d already seen her dearsoul falter so much, and  _ teeter _ so dangerously…

Warm claws came to rest on her shoulder, and she startled. Eyes coruscating with some indefinable inner furnace met her and stilled her. Asking. Knowing. Understanding. Accepting. Eyes that burned with a conviction she couldn’t quite grasp. “I’m here.”  
  
There were no questions. Undyne didn’t want to let go, but it was such a  _ relief _ to stop wrestling all the sins crawling on her back, and she felt herself scooped into her dearsoul’s embrace. How many times had  _ she _ been the one to hold  _ Alphys _ as she wept herself dry? Perhaps… Perhaps it was time she came clean, too. Nobody could really be strong all the time - the strain was  _ too much _ \- but she wasn’t alone.


End file.
